You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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