he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
My vagina is very pro this idea
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