watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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