if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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