I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
