Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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