Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
