literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize