Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Who died my cat blue again?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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