I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
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