Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Randomize
