Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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