We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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