I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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