okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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