He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
i believe in u and ur pee
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