i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
