remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
