there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
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