That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I think I won the penis lottery.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize