I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
