barbara walters just said penis...
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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