I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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