why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize