this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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