went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize