U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
