that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
