Who wears a wallet chain?!
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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