I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
