i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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