Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
We got so high we made milksteak
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
