He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I will be naked everywhere
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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