you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize