You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
