So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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