So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
