Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
