based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
