i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Randomize
