if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
