I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
