I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize