I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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