oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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