i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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