I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
