Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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