Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
My pussy is not your playground.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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