you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
