Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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