i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
