Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
