Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
