I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
